8 Tips for Building Relationships with Kids in Sunday School

May 25th, 2025

Building relationships with kids is everything when it comes to being an effective Sunday school teacher. If we want to lead children to Christ, disciple them, and learn how to teach Sunday school in a way that has a lasting impact on the lives of the children in our care, we have to have a relationship with them. And for us to be building relationships with kids, there must be two-way communication. We have to help kids feel comfortable, confident, and heard enough by us to talk.

Being an Effective Sunday School Teacher Means Helping Kids Talk

In family life and in kids’ ministry, it’s important to understand that we have to invite kids to share their feelings with us, while making space for open, healthy communication. As a parent or Sunday school teacher, you might be tempted to do way too much of the talking yourself because you’re focused on teaching or have a hard time giving kids the freedom, the space, or the invitation to talk while maintaining order. But when kids don’t get to talk, they’re not as engaged—whether mentally, spiritually, or relationally—so less learning will take place. Part of being an effective Sunday school teacher means learning how to teach Sunday school in a manner where everyone gets to participate and communicate.

That said, not all children will communicate the same. Some kids will talk nonstop at home, but have a hard time opening up in public. Others won’t have as much of an opportunity to talk at home because of busy parents or older siblings, so will take any chance given to them in Sunday school to share their thoughts and feelings—even to the point of disruption. Yet more children might come from a background of a broken home, experienced trauma, or absent parents, so it’s even more vital we work hard to restore their trust in adults by providing a safe space for communication.

8 Tips for Building Relationships with Kids

If you want to learn how to teach Sunday school or kids ministry well, you have to learn how to balance all types of kids, their passions, and their communication styles. Here’s 8 tips on how to help kids open up to you—building relationships with kids to help you be a more effective Sunday school teacher in kids ministry.

1. Sit with the Kids

This might seem simple, but often the first step towards being a more effective Sunday school teacher or volunteer in kids ministry, means physically sitting with the children you teach. If you’re a Sunday school leader giving a lesson, try to orient yourself about the room in a way that places you amongst all the children where they can still see you, instead of merely way up in the front or on a stage. If you’re a kids ministry helper, instead of grabbing a chair and sitting in the back of the classroom during the lesson, sit next to the kids so they can see you’re interested in learning about God too and that you enjoy being around the kids you teach. Help them feel like you’re “one of them”—not just there to teach a lesson and then leave.

2. Greet the Kids You Teach, Even Outside Kids Ministry

Building relationships with kids means helping them know you care about them as people, both in and out of Sunday school. We all know Sunday mornings can be crazy, but while you’re walking into church, getting your coffee, or greeting friends, keep a look out for the kids you know from class. If you see them, greet them with a fist bump and tell them you’re glad to see them—this shows you know and care about them!

3. Make the Kids your Priority

Building relationships with kids means helping them feel like a priority in Sunday school, not an obligation. To do this, arrive at church early so you can finish setting up for your lessons before kids come to class. As soon as kids start arriving for Sunday school, drop everything—greet the kids, let them know you’re excited they came, and instantly engage them with questions and conversation.

4. Ask Questions

Next, for help building relationships with kids, pick out simple fun questions that will help you learn more about the children in your kids ministry. Come prepared with three questions that you will ask in your small group or Sunday school that day. Why three? Because every effective Sunday school teacher knows, if your questions are the right type, it only takes a few to get that group of kids talking. Once the kids start talking, listen! Most likely you’ll discover what they love, what they’re learning, or maybe even what they need help with.

5. Talk Less, Listen More

As you ask questions, it’s important to listen fully to the kid’s responses for insights on how to be an effective Sunday school teacher and minister to the particulars of the children’s lives. Do your best to avoid falling into the trap of showing up at Sunday school, delivering your lesson, and then checking out until it’s time to leave. When the group starts talking, don’t walk away—listen carefully to the little things they say or take notes if necessary. Even small, seemingly silly things are important for building relationships with kids.

6. Use What they Love while Teaching

Part of being an effective Sunday school teacher also means learning how to teach Sunday school lessons in a way that’s relevant to the kids in your class. As you listen to what the kids in your Sunday school or kids ministry love, try to incorporate those things into your lessons. For example, if they love social media, find ways to challenge them to use it properly; like, if you’re teaching a lesson about making the right choices or about obedience. It’s important to engage kids in lessons about God in a way that’s relevant in their lives now, beyond treating the Bible as a mere “storybook”.

Using these examples doesn’t always have to be from a negative angle, either. For instance, if you’re teaching about creation, show a picture of one of the dinosaur Fortnite skins or compare the creativity of God designing our world to the creativity they might display while designing a Minecraft world. You could also add a popular dance move into your song or memory verse motions, like the Dab or the Floss. Children will love having these everyday fun activities incorporated into Sunday School and your kids ministry.

7. Do Your Research

Building relationships with kids in your class as an effective Sunday school teacher also means putting in the effort to understand what they’re talking about. If you’re ever confused, do a Google search on Fortnite, social media trends, or the other topics about which you might hear your kids talking about. You might have to look up how to do the Dab or Floss, or what certain slang words mean. It takes time, yes, but the return of investment will be invaluable, as it helps you better connect and build relationships with the kids you teach. Doing your own research also helps you know what is appropriate to be using in your lessons and what might distract from the teachings of the Gospel.

8. Follow Up

Last but not least, even if you only serve in your church’s kids ministry team once a month, to be an effective Sunday school teacher and keep building relationships with the kids in your class, be sure to follow-up on the questions you ask and stay updated on their lives. If you struggle to remember them all from week to week, let alone longer, consider taking notes and frequently building on or updating those notes after each Sunday school class. Stay involved in your kids’ lives and stay curious. How has Sophia been doing since her dog died? Did Alex ever beat that level in his video game? Has Chloe had her first soccer game? What position is she playing?

In conclusion, you might not feel very knowledgeable about current childhood trends. But to be an effective Sunday school teacher and start building relationships with kids, you just need to know how to ask questions, listen to responses, do a little research, and follow up with them the next time you see them. The time and energy you invest through kids ministry will always be worth it!

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